Why More Couples Don’t Talk About Their Fertility Challenges

Source: CNN – April 10, 2015

Although the internet, media, and celebrities have helped to popularize fertility treatments in the public eye, infertility is still a very private topic for many people, according to a recent CNN article.

For the individuals who are staying silent, the article cites the reason may be because of feelings of embarrassment, shame, or inadequacy. Infertility can place enormous physical, emotional, and financial stress on the men and women who undergo fertility care.

More than 7.4 million people in the United States have used infertility services at some point during their lifetimes, according to a 2010 CDC National Survey of Family Growth. The theme of this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week, “You Are Not Alone,” gives men and women with fertility challenges and their health care providers a unique opportunity to raise awareness for and foster a conversation about infertility.

How society feels about infertility and its treatment has certainly changed over the last 40 years. We used to whisper about it. Having infertility was almost shameful. Many feared using technology to achieve pregnancy. There were protests outside the first IVF clinics. Times have changed. With thousands of babies born in the U.S. through advanced reproductive technologies every year, it is now a common practice. Just last week while waiting in line at the local grocery store, I encountered a woman sharing her IVF experience with a total stranger in line.

But even though we have come a long way, we have not reversed all of the taboos and misunderstandings. In many cultures, infertility remains deeply shameful. “A woman who cannot conceive is not a woman.” Her husband may leave her. “A man who has a low sperm count is not a real man.” Many men deeply tie their self-image and sense of masculinity to their fertility. These beliefs stand as obstacles to seeking help and obtaining treatment. Some men may refuse to do a semen analysis for fear of what it may reveal. This is something I see in my practice on a regular basis.

In addition, there are other misconceptions that prevent people from obtaining help. The biggest is the fear of multiple gestation (twins, triplets, or more). This is something that has been frequently emphasized in the media. And certainly, there is truth in this – fertility treatment can lead to a higher chance of multiple gestation. However, at RADfertility we work hard to reduce the risk of multiple gestation. When performing IVF, most of the time we are putting back a single embryo at the blastocyst stage of development. This results in very low risk of multiple gestation, while still achieving a high chance of success.

Couples undergoing fertility treatment are under heavy loads of stress. They fear that it won’t work. They worry about the cost. Some fear possible side effects or other risks. Most of these anxieties are greatly alleviated through education. I always strive to fully inform my patients, so that they completely understand what is going on and feel in control of the treatment. This works to minimize the stress. Support from family and close friends can also be very helpful, especially if any of them have experienced similar issues.

With time, I hope that we all grow to see that infertility is just another health problem, like asthma or diabetes. This will make it easier for everyone to receive help in achieving a successful pregnancy with less anxiety. For now, I ask that everyone remember that infertility is a huge burden and support any relatives, friends, and acquaintances who may be struggling with it.